Friday 6 December 2013

Cheesy Love Matters

There must be something really embarrassing about admitting that you are on a dating site? Explains why my friend rolled her eyes, made a weird face and vehemently denied my asking if she was on any dating sites. My guess is that people do not want to give off vibes of being ‘desperate daters’.

Despite all the chit chat about not putting a price tag on love, online dating is rapidly growing into a $3 Billion international Industry for software engineers, psychologists and tech venture capitalists who are reaping its rewards. With certain sites charging members up to $4500 a year, one would wonder just how high the perfect matching probability is. But for the time-poor, cash-rich professional, finding love in the old fashioned way (through friends, family, or at the bar) is almost impossible. That is why the internet sounds like a perfect resort where they have access to a large pool of eligible partners and where there is little of game playing involved-everyone is specific about what they want. Not everyone will meet their prince charming by accident, when the wind is blowing through their hair with a perfect sunset, you know? For some, it is an intentional and calculated affair.

How the love algorithm works? During sign up, a ‘love seeker’ will be prompted to fill in questionnaires about themselves, their interests, opinion on certain issues, hobbies, physical attributes and the aspects they would find most appealing for their ideal partner. So, based on the demographic data, traits, personality and interests, the compatibility algorithm will match you with persons whose attributes are most ideal for you as a partner. How true it is that a mathematical algorithm will create the perfect match for you is up for debate.


Certain sites curve a niche for their online crowd, for instance, you can choose to join dedicated websites for religion, green living, country lovers, people into fetishes, vampires, interracial daters or over weights. Hey! Whatever tickles your fancy! Some of them are borderline crazy though. Am reminded of the cheaters website that gives ‘A chance to those who have been cheated on to meet other faithful singles in their area’ in the famous words of John Greco. However, a niche that I frown upon is that which targets the unhappily married. Really now? LetsCheat.com maybe? 

For someone with the same routine, running in the same circles, hanging out in the same places and is about to blow 39 candles on her next birthday, meeting new singles online doesn't sound like such a bad idea, does it? A couple of nasty disadvantages come along with that too, meeting creepy people first on the list. You will meet people who lie about everything and present themselves richer, better looking or younger. You will meet those who make assumptions that they are in a serious relationship with you after 3 emails of communication, or those who post pictures of their children all the time, those who think compensation in monetary forms is extremely important and those who are downright disrespectful and perverted. However, the most comical are those with unexplained wtf profile pictures. (If you love to have a good laugh like me, I would suggest you click on this link)



Once in a while however, cupid smiles on you and you get a charmer. Many singles will often be energized when starting out on these sites but with time, they realize that competition is stiff and that there are many singles out there with captivating pictures and impressive profiles. So what happens normally, the energy fizzles out.

If you decide to give it a try, be true to yourself and try as much as possible to portray your sincerity and how you are genuine in pursuit of love (LOL), make yourself stand out by being unique and distinctive in your headlines, don’t show too much skin otherwise you will attract the wrong crowd, always have a profile picture of yourself, save us some typos and don’t be too quick to trust people on these online streets. For a first date, arm yourself with a whistle, pepper spray too. Practice how to use the whistle diligently before putting it in an easily reachable compartment in your bag – Coco’s online dating tip for today.

Whichever means you use to get the love of your life don’t be ashamed to admit it. Whether you are speed dating, being hooked up by all your family and friends, or trying this online thing…only haters mind the aggression. So relax, it’s never that serious J